Episode 33: Know Your Worth‪!‬

Episode 33: Know Your Worth‪!‬

That not working out, made me go, “Okay. I’m buying into the idea that someone else is giving me, saying ‘you need to advertise this way,’ when up until that point, just doing what I was doing and being myself was working.”

Susanne Mariga:Welcome to the Profit Talk Show. In this show, we’re going to explore strategies to help you maximize profits in your business while scaling and creating the lifestyle that you want as an entrepreneur. I am your host, Susanne Mariga. I am a Certified Public Accountant, a Certified Profit First Professional, and a Certified Tax Coach. Today, we’re going to talk about strategies to help you maximize profits in your business. 
Hello, Profit First Entrepreneurs and Thought Leaders. I am so excited today. We have a very special conversation and a very special guest today. I’m going to interview the CEO of ‘Know Your Worth’ which is the empowerment system for women. And, I’m going to interview the CEO of this company, Kelly Sgroi. Now, Kelly is a licensed Mental Health Counselor. She specializes in women’s empowerment, helping women gain unshakable self-esteem. Today, we’re going to talk about the elephant in the room that nobody likes to admit that happens, but it’s really real. It does happen. And the elephant that we’re going to talk about today is what happens when things just don’t go your way? So, please join me in welcoming Kelly Sgroi to the platform. Hi Kelley, how are you? 
Kelley Sgroi:Hey, Susanne. Thanks for having me. I’m super thrilled to be here. 
Susanne Mariga:Glad to have you. We’re very excited to have you today. So, first of all, before we begin, just tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you start the empowerment system for women ‘Know Your Worth?’ Tell us a little bit about your story and journey. 
Kelley Sgroi:Yeah! So, I am not a career-based licensed mental health therapist. I was a dental hygienist for about 20 years. Just not feeling like I was meeting my potential, something was missing. So, I went back to school in my 40s, got my Master’s Degree in Counseling, and realized that helping people from that aspect was what I was supposed to be doing. My struggles in my own life are kind of what led me to help women. I got divorced after a long time of being married. My children are triplets. I’m a cancer survivor. So, a lot of things had gone, not according to plan. No one gets married and plans to get divorced. No one gets pregnant and has triplets. And, I am now nine years cancer-free but really just the hit on my self-esteem, my self worth, how failed relationships and just not knowing where I was going in life led me to go, “Wow, this is a common theme for so many women,” but we don’t admit it because as women we’ve been taught from such a young age, especially if you’re a mom that you hold it all together, no matter what. 
I just grew up going ‘just be happy.’ And if I am not happy, people would say to me, “What’s wrong with you? You’re always happy.” So, I learned that being anything but happy was not good. It drew criticism and it’s just impossible to be happy all the time. I felt inauthentic and I did a lot of work on myself. And the more I did, the more I realized that a lot of women are going about the same way. So, Know Your Worth just kind of came about. And as it developed, and the response from women was so incredible that I was like, “Wow, I think I must be on to something.” So, that’s really how it happened. 
Susanne Mariga:That’s amazing that you say that and you’re right, a lot of times, as women we are taught to serve and to take care of others, be nice and play good and naturally, our needs will get met. And, I know being company leaders, which we both lead companies, one of the things is, we set the tone for our organization. A lot of times when things aren’t going well, we have to keep that smile on our face, no matter what happens, even when someone made a bad decision that we have to pay the price for it, we have to keep that positivity going with that. So, Kelly, let’s talk a little bit more about our topics. Let’s talk about what happens when things don’t go our way? Let’s talk about that a little bit. 
Kelley Sgroi:Well, in general, think about what happens when things don’t go our way. We usually have a meltdown, we have a temper tantrum, or, we blame ourselves, especially as women like you are just saying, Susanne, we’re taught that we have to take care of everything. That’s our job and taking care of everything perfectly because that’s the persona that we have. So, I just remembered this Enjoli commercial from years ago like I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you’re a man. All these things that were expected of us, like go to work, work full time, go shopping, take care of the kids and then take care of your guy, too. How exhausting all that is? So, yeah, we would meltdown like myself included when things didn’t go well, just keep plugging through, pushing along.
So, we pretend that doesn’t exist. Think about as a woman, if you ran into somebody and you were super stressed out, what would you do? You’re like, “Hey, I know everything’s good. How are you? I’m great.” And, you’re like just finished bawling your eyes out in your car, but you see somebody that you’re an acquaintance with and you weren’t like, “Oh my God, I just finished bawling my eyes out in the car. I’m the worst mother in the world.” We would never do that because we’re not allowed to. 
Susanne Mariga:That’s true. That’s the feeling in the world that we have to hold it together. So, Kelly, what happens when things aren’t going our way? First of all, before we even go to what happens, you have an interesting concept about things that don’t go our way. And I know we’ve had conversations off the air in the past, but let’s go ahead and share that with the viewers. I love your take on it. Let’s talk more about the universe and when things don’t go our way and we keep trying and doing things over and over again, and we just keep hitting these stumbling marks. 
Kelley Sgroi:Like the definition of insanity, ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.’ I know everyone else learns this the hard way but I truly believe in the power of the universe and being cellular and being an energetic being. What we’re made up of? We’re all made up of atoms. So is the earth. So is the universe. So, when I’m freaking out and I’m putting out that level of energy, I can’t help but get that back. If I’ve thrown out a pile of garbage, that’s all that the universe knows to give me back. So, if I’m staying energetically grounded and keeping my vibrational energy high, then the universe is going to respond in light. It’s going to keep things positive. It’s going to keep things up. 
It has been my experience that even the very worst decisions I’ve ever made and the worst things that have ever happened to me have led me to something even greater. All of my decisions that didn’t go exactly the way I wanted them, to relationships that didn’t work out the way I had planned, business decisions that turned out to be like I invested a couple of thousand dollars not that long ago in one of these door mailers that literally generated zero business and so what I take from that was that was not the direction that my business was supposed to go. So, I adjusted my sales and go, “All right, what is it that’s being presented to me?” Because really having a temper tantrum, how does that help? 
It increases my stress level. It gives me more stress because I can’t be productive, when I’m freaking out I can’t make good decisions. That whole thought leads me into just brain chemicals in fight or hides when we’re in that place of stress, we can’t be creative. All we know is our brain is saying ‘run or fight or hide.’ The last thing you’re going to be doing is making a major business decision. That’s going to help you. When you think you’re being chased by a lion, you’re not going, “Hey, Mr. Lion, stop chasing me so I can sign this contract.” You’re just hightailing it out of there and we can’t be creative. So, we lose out on that opportunity. 
Susanne Mariga:Exactly. We block our blessings and we don’t allow ourselves to be open to new possibilities when we are stuck and fixated on the things that went wrong. Literally, we’re stuck. We can’t see the good and see the new opportunities that are there. For example, with the mail flyers that you did, I can’t imagine spending a couple of thousand dollars and not getting that pack that had to be. I will probably be checking my mailbox and like something must be wrong with that, I haven’t got a single sale on my flyers, but really, like you said, looking at the opportunity, that means a lesson learned. There’s something else that I need to do and take a look into it. 
As you said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and I’m just thinking about things that we do in our business of doing the same thing over and over again, like insanity. I think what you learned from the example about the flyers, so many of us try to invest in ads that don’t work and we keep investing and go, “Okay. We’ll try it again. We might just change one word, what if I can just do one more thing differently.” But, it’s not learning from those lessons. Now, COVID-19 has been very interesting for a lot of businesses. There’re businesses I’ve met that had the best year of their life and then, there are businesses that have literally struggled in COVID-19. There are many lessons that we learned there. And, Kelley, maybe I like to pierce your brain too, and kind of get you some ideas. How do some of these business owners take the opportunities or take what they’re going through right now and adjust to those or do they adjust to it? What are your thoughts on that?
Kelley Sgroi:I can speak for myself in it from that aspect. I realized at the start of all of this, how much time I was wasting doing those things over and over again that were not producing. We’re running around trying to create ads that people weren’t responding to, trying to get super creative with my ads, like how much I spent building landing pages and more creative ads and sending out emails, campaigns, and saying, “this isn’t working, let me try this, this the same thing.” But when COVID hit, I had to take a step back. I had to go, “Alright, what’s in front of me right now?” I really slowed down. I realized how much time I was wasting doing things that were not productive, that weren’t benefiting me from a business or a personal level. 
I was burnt out by the time the summer hit from just pushing and pushing, we call it, “grinding people are grinding now.” I realized in May or June, something’s not working so I need to take a change. I just took a big step back personally and professionally. And I said, “Where do I need to focus?” Those mailers, the funny thing is that, that not working out, made me go, “Okay, I’m buying into the idea that someone else is giving me saying, ‘you need to advertise this way,’ when up until that point, just doing what I was doing and being myself was working, but I’m like, “Okay. They said I need to build a funnel, they said, I need to do this,” and so I did, and I pushed through, and the universe responded in like that wasn’t the direction for me. 
I’m a true believer in my angels and spirit guides. People can take that for what they believe in, prayer, whatever you believe in as being something higher. I ask my angels and spirit guides at night to continue to show me the path that I need to be on. And what that message from those mailers was to me is that I need to be working in a different direction. I need to be focusing more personally and not expecting a postcard that comes in the mail to have that same effect as me reaching out to another human being and saying, “Hey, I care about you. I want to help you. I’m just another face on a postcard when it comes in the mailbox.” So, I was able to look at that and go, “All right, I need to have the approach that I see as genuine for myself.” And, I think that works in business as well. I don’t want to work with someone who’s all about how he got there and what’s so great. I want to know what are you bringing to this for me? How are we going to work together? And, I think that’s really important for that growth.
Susanne Mariga:And, people don’t buy until they know you care. Why would I want to hire someone that doesn’t care? I don’t feel that you care in a postcard. I can’t feel it. You have a beautiful face but I can’t feel that you care.
Kelley Sgroi:You can read it. That’s the same thing with that sales funnel, that video, I can say it all, but that doesn’t mean I mean it, and I know that as I’ve built my business. Those of the people that I’ve related to the most are the people that really showed me that this was worth it. You cared about me. Isn’t that what we all want? To feel like someone cares about us as they care about our success personally, professionally, however, and especially as entrepreneurs. So, we have that other dynamic of being female entrepreneurs and the judgment that goes along with “that’s not our place, we should be home in the kitchen or something.” I’ve heard this a lot of times, “Oh, you’ll never make it in a business,” and moving forward with that own block going, “wait a minute, why am I believing this?” So, COVID really had that effect on me. It really slowed me down. It really made me focus on some personal growth, which I was able to put back into my business.
Susanne Mariga:That is amazing. I love to talk a little bit more about your company ‘Know Your Worth.’ Tell us a little bit about that. Tell us what you do, how you help people, tell us a little about Know Your Worth and why is that important? 
Kelley Sgroi:So, it kind of came about, it keeps evolving just like me. I think that’s part of the process as it’s gotten moving more and more along, it’s evolving, I’m adding to it. It started off as a 12 module program, 12 weeks that I work with women. Believe it or not, we start back from day one when you’re born, someone tells you “you’re a girl and this is your name.” We don’t even get to make that choice. We have been given a name and that name, that label of girl and for the guys, men, boys, it comes along with a role that we play, with that role comes an expectation. So, I started exploring from the beginning, what we were told and I was told you’re a girl, you wear dresses. 
This is how you act. And then, I modeled the people in my life that were women like me. You don’t throw sand in the sandbox. You play nice, you are quiet and you sit pretty and you wear dresses. And, I focus on all the limiting beliefs that we developed because of that and how each one of the modules builds off the last one so that by the end of the modules, by the week 12th, we are now eliminating all of those. We’ve set healthy boundaries for ourselves. We stopped taking everything personally, quieting that negative voice in the back of our head, which really is that ego that is fighting for survival, fighting to stay alive. When we’re starting to go, “wait a minute, you’re not telling me the truth.” And, the last module I have my clients either read a story or draw a picture or create a vision board of how their life really should look.
What is your story? Because I was living by somebody else’s version of me, somebody else’s story, what I was told was acceptable and it never fit. It seems like the wrong shoe size, something’s off here. This doesn’t seem to work for me. And, it wasn’t until I got older like I was in my forties before I started going, “something’s just not working.” So, my goal is to help people realize it sooner and have their own lives. 
It’s interesting because I was having a conversation the other day about how women when they get into relationships. They lose their own interests. They lose their own hobbies. They do what their boyfriends and husbands like to do, and then, when the relationship doesn’t work out, if it doesn’t work out, we sit back and go, “What do I do now?” 
I remember someone saying to me, “What makes you happy? What do you like to do?” And I was like, “Oh, no, I had no clue. I don’t know. I don’t even know who I am. I just know my name and that I’m a girl. That’s about it. That’s all I knew about myself.” So, that is exactly what ‘Know Your Worth’ is about. Recognize that you deserve, you have a value all on your own as a woman and that means you create your life based on who you are, not what you’re told you are. As I said, it’s evolving in such a genuine, authentic sort of way. It’s really very simple and that’s what’s beautiful about it. It’s just simple, it’s not super complicated. 
And again, that’s where I kind of fell into that it needs to be fancy and it needs to be pretty and sparkly. Then I realized, it just has to have an impact. That’s what I’m seeing happen. That impact in itself. As a business person, as an entrepreneur, that’s where my motivation comes from. Those mailers, whatever they got stuck in the trash can, looked really good, they were really pretty, but they didn’t have an impact. They didn’t make the difference. Just being out there and being me, showing how, it’s not pretty all the time, things don’t go my way all the time and when they don’t, I have to take a look and go, “Why is this not going my way more often than not?” My way is probably not the best way and that’s when I can be open to suggestions and see those other opportunities as they present so that someone called it “toxic positivity,” I find it just the way I live. If I’m toxic this way, I’d rather be toxic because being positive, it’s just the best way for me to get through even COVID. Being present. 
Susanne Mariga:I love that. Find another way. We just find another way. I love the idea of just knowing your worth because it’s so important in entrepreneurship because you really cannot command the value of your team and command the price that you need to support your team unless you know your worth. And, I know for me as an entrepreneur, one of the biggest realizations that I had probably around year five,  we’d been in business for 13 years now was, when I don’t charge appropriately, when I don’t charge a fair price to cover the costs, I don’t just cheat myself, I cheat my team because when I don’t charge the right price, I can’t afford to give them the raises that they deserve. I can’t afford to pay the market value or bring other people onto the team that can really lift the load off of them. And so, when I was pricing and I was representing my company, I wasn’t just representing me, I was representing my team and it was outright disrespectful to not represent them in a way and charge a fair price to them. 
Kelley Sgroi:I totally agree with that. And again, I just added a team member. My own business is fairly new. I’m just heading into my second year. So, I just added a team member and I totally agree, I think that I’ve taken it even more seriously because I see the value that she’s adding for me as well. I think that it was disrespecting even to my clients to undercharge because what I did was say, “Look, I’m going to undercharge and just about anybody can jump in here and whether they get the value from the program or not, doesn’t matter, let’s just make X amount of dollars.” Am I charging what it’s really worth? And, somebody I was speaking with, I said, “In a year from now if you have what you were desiring, if everything you dream about in one year’s time you have, how much is that worth to you? Because I can offer you the tools to get there.”
And, I was speaking with a coach who works with marriages and I don’t know what the rate was, but let’s say his rate was $20,000, how much is your marriage worth? Is it worth a thousand dollars then why bother? Is it worth 20,000? Is it priceless? Generating the result that we can offer our clients, I’m saying to you, I’m worth this. And then, I backed that with what I bring and your result is going to back that. But if I under-priced and I just say here, “I’m worth 50 bucks an hour,” I’m no different than any Joe Schmoe who’s out there right now saying, “Hey, I can solve your problems.” There’s a lot of them. COVID definitely opened up online, somebody called it ‘the wild West of coaching.’ So, everyone’s offering something and not everyone’s offering something worthwhile. 
Susanne Mariga:Definitely. So, even if you’re manufacturing,  or even if you’re in legal services or a doctor, if you’re not charging your worth, you’re cheating your team, not only yourself, but your team and everybody else that is under you and relies on you. 
Kelley Sgroi:And your client, think about if you’re not getting paid what you’re worth and you’re not doing and bringing your A game. If I know I’m worth so much more and I’m undervalued, it’s tough to bring that A game. But, if I know that I can hold myself accountable as well, if I have to hold other people accountable, I need to hold myself accountable. And that’s my personal check on myself, “am I bringing my best?” And I always strive to bring the best of me. So, I think that we have to know that we’re worth what we are asking and what we are charging because we’re bringing way better results than the average person. 
Susanne Mariga:So, when you think about tips of what we can do differently, let’s say we struggle when things don’t go our way, like when you try to step out of the box and you get pushed back in the box. How do you deal when situations like that happen? What do you do?
Kelley Sgroi:For me and what I would recommend is take a look at what being in that box is telling you. What’s happening? Are you blocking something? I realized I had some huge blockages that were keeping me stuck in a box and I had to take a look at those and go, “What limiting belief am I carrying here about myself that keeps pushing me back?” Sometimes staying in that box was the answer, maybe what I need is right here in front of me. I’m looking outside of myself for all of these other things and the answers are right here. So, if I take a step back and look around at my box, what’s here in my box? For me, everything that is negative, everything that I see that gives me that feeling of IK, I have to look at it and go, “Is this a true intuition thing, or are you trying to show me something that I’m not seeing?” And really just slow down when things are not going our way, that’s time to take a step back and say, “How do I make a shift? What needs to change?” Because too many people are happy to run on that hamster wheel. What happens on that wheel? You just keep going and eventually you get tired or the wheel breaks. So, I just step off the wheel and go, “All right, give me a couple of days to really process this,” stop the impulsive behavior, stop the I need to have it now and go, “what’s next for me? What direction do I go in?” And, it usually presents itself. It really does. Open it up and allow the powers, whatever that is for you to show you the path. 
Susanne Mariga:I love that. Sometimes I noticed that when I step away and I go on vacation or I just take a couple of days just to veg, sometimes the best ideas come to you when you’re not in the hustle and bustle, and you’re not, like you said, “riding the hamster wheel,” and you can just take that moment to stop, sometimes the best ideas present itself to you. 
Kelley Sgroi:And again, go back to that stress reaction. When you’re in the hustle and bustle and you’re stressed, your brain is releasing cortisol to keep up, it’s on that fight or flight mode, to some degree, we can’t be creative. There’s no way to be creative or make an educated choice at that point in time. So, when I take a step back on a Saturday or Sunday or Tuesday, whatever presents, and I know I just need a break, that’s when I make the best decisions because I take that time and I can go, “Oh, now I can think straight. Now I don’t have to be in charge of it all and make every decision right now. I can take a look at how I’m feeling, why I’m feeling this way, how tired I am, and get creative.” I do my best thinking when I’m exercising like walking out just being active because my brain is concentrating on that physical activity. It’s not on anything else. And, all of a sudden I’ll be like, “Oh, great idea!” Something just came up. 
Susanne Mariga:I love it. And so, Kelley, as we wrap up our show today, if you could leave our viewers and our listeners with one piece of advice that can be personal, business related, what would that advice be? 
Kelley Sgroi:I guess my biggest advice would be to stay present, stay in the moment. We’re always pushing ahead. We’re worried about tomorrow, the next day, the next week, or we’re hanging onto something that we did last week that went wrong, that we have no control over anymore. Today is the only day, this minute in time is all I have. If I’m worried about what’s going to happen next week, I might not be here next week, so I’ve wasted today. If I’m stressing out about what I did yesterday, I’m losing today and I can’t change it. I’ve heard that 85% of what we worry about doesn’t ever happen of the 15% that does happen, less than 1% of it turns out to be as bad as we predicted in our minds. So, when you think about that rate, we waste so much time worrying about stuff that never happens.
Today, I do grounding techniques. I look down at my feet and go, “Where am I? Where am I right now?” I’m standing here in these shoes or my bare feet and I don’t have to worry about tomorrow. I don’t have to worry about it. It’s not here yet. There’s nothing about tomorrow that I can’t decide, and yesterday, that’s all gone. I can’t fix it so I can’t carry it with me because it gets really heavy. So, just really staying present no matter what’s been happening, just being present and looking around and appreciating whether they say, “stop and smell the roses,” just appreciate it today, the life that we have today because if COVID has not taught us that life is fragile, that anything can change because who knew, a year ago this time we were not thinking that we were going to be dealing with this, so how fast our life can change? 
Susanne Mariga:Yes! I love that. Just staying grounded and being grateful for today because gratefulness just goes so far. 
Kelley Sgroi:Gratitude sends more gratitude our way.  When I’m grateful, I’m just so glad that I have what I have. The next day I have more gratitude, but if I’m miserable, what do I have tomorrow, more misery. So, move forward in gratitude and faith and know that everything is always here to help us. It’s working out for our benefit, not to hurt us. That’s not the goal of this lifetime, it’s not to make us miserable. We do that all on our own. 
Susanne Mariga:I’m not going to argue. I love some gratefulness. Give me some gratefulness, anytime you want.
Kelley Sgroi:All day, every day because I have to be grateful for even the bad things because they led me to better. We can’t see it at the time, but when we look back and you go, “Whoa, that’s why that happened.” That’s when that light bulb clicks on and that’s what I hope to help people do is to see that struggle, it wasn’t there to destroy you. It was there to show you just how strong you are and how much better things can be when you get through it.
Susanne Mariga:I love that. Everything happens for a reason and even though we can’t see it right now, that reason will one day be known why. 
Kelley Sgroi:We don’t grow when we’re comfortable. When we’re comfortable, we’re sitting on our butt with our feet up on the coffee table. When we’re uncomfortable, we’re doing the work that it takes even in business. When you’re uncomfortable because your bank accounts look like whoa, that’s when you’re putting your time and getting creative and going, “I need to make some changes,” and we can do those one little change at a time, just put one together, and the next day put another one and they all build up to really good things.
Susanne Mariga:Definitely. So Kelley, how can our listeners and our viewers contact you to work with you? What would be the best way to reach you?
Kelley Sgroi:They can find me if they want to on Facebook. They can look up ‘Know Your Worth.’ That should bring them there or they can find me through my website at kelleysgroilmhc.com.  So, I abbreviate that Licensed Mental Health Counselor. They can Google me, Kelley Sgroi LMHC and I pop up. So, Facebook or through my website. 
Susanne Mariga:I love that. And, I will go ahead and put Kelley’s contact information in the show notes so you’ll be able to click on her links to be able to contact her, ask her questions and work with her. 
Kelley Sgroi:Perfect. That sounds great. I welcome all the interaction. I learned from everybody that I interact with on a daily basis, so yeah, beautiful. 
Susanne Mariga:Thank you, Kelley, for joining us today.
Kelley Sgroi:Thanks for having me, Susanne. It was so much fun. It’s been an honor. Thank you.
Susanne Mariga:I want you to have your most profitable year ever. Yes, no matter what’s going on in the economy, no matter what’s going on in the world, you can have your best year ever. And, I want to show you how. Join me in our private Facebook group, where I will be hosting our FREE, Yes, I said FREE Profit First Masterclass on Facebook. Please join the Profit First Master Class with Susanne Mariga. I look forward to seeing you there and watching you have your best year ever.

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